FINALLY!! One subject project over! But i am not happy! and i am extremely unhappy.
Over the past weeks, have been hell. pure HELL.
Yesterday i was so stress i was like on the verge of crying... then colleen and i was guilty of something... my grp mates did the presentation slides.. but end up not done well, so colleen and i had to redo the background, the fonts and sizes are different... everything was quite messy.. then we felt guilty that we had to change a lot of things they did, like making their effort gone to waste too... so colleen and i kept saying, "how ar?? we like so bad..."
so colleen closed her eyes and said, "jessica... slap me la... i so bad.." i tot she was jus joking.. so i said, "hai.. u slap me too lor.. i also felt so guilty.."
and the next second... she really slapped me!!! lol... it was really funny.. she didn't slap hard la.. like playing... but it kindof triggers my crying mood... lol.. and i really cried.. damn... so i was laughing and crying at the same time... ha.. then i have to go back to lecture hall for lesson.. i kept looking on the floor.. so nobody can see that i cried.. luckily i was seated in the front row yesterday.. cos we came a bit late, and left the front seats...
i cried not because of the slap.. just that everything is like weighing down on my shoulder.. i felt so exhausted...
Today's presentation. SUCKS TO THE CORE. I am like so unprepared.. so not my usual self. Last sem.. k. i am not boasting. just comparing... the teacher mentioned that LCM, (can't remember if its gary or desmond), and me, is the best presenter in class... but today??? SHIT. DAMN SHITTY. I TOTALLY HATE WHAT I AM DOING TODAY. Sub-standard. ARG!!!!
I'm like looking at my card.. trying to remember what i need to say. i don't use to bring card. i usually can remember what i need to say. but today, i brought a card along.. cos i am not confident enough. DAMN DAMN DAMN!
Then i received my accounting test paper today... i got 28/40~ SUCKS TOO. It's a low B... cos 27 marks is 'C'. DAMN. So much careless mistakes!
I have never really felt so stress in secondary school... I studied only last minute and still managed to pass.... only when o'level is coming then i started studying hard... now i can't do that in poly... honestly.. sometimes i rather do individual project... its like working with group mates.. my group mates are nice people... but if i do the work myself, i don't have to show them, or don't have to wait for their justification.. everything can be done in my own time, own target.
i am like falling asleep in bus or mrt... so freaking tired... i don't often fell asleep on transport unless i'm really tired.. but these days i kept falling asleep..
i am really stressssssssssssssssssssssssssssss. next week, there is 3 tests... and then i need to start research for 3 project... then all deadlines are quite close... ARGGGGGGGGGGGGGG!!!!!!!!!!
On a happier side - i am taking dance class!! yippie! kinda can't wait for it... then camp is on 28-30 dec... yippie! i love camps! then 22nd dec, going JB with my friends!! then 9 Jan (if i am not wrong), joining Badminton school olympics with friends!
I hope i won't die of stresssssssss.......... hai............... help me..................
